Submitted by recoveryrob on January 20, 2010 – 4:33pm
I think one of the most powerful and positive actions we can take when facing our addiction is to admit we are powerless, and another one is seeking help in a rehab like our Orange County drug rehab. This admission is not about being powerless, a victim of society, or that we don’t have a say in what happens in our life. It’s about saying, “Hey, this drinking and drugging doesn’t work for me. Not sure it ever did.” Really, the only two parts of the 1st step is to admit this and see that our lives have become unmanageable.
For me, I think I sort of did it in reverse (not that I am unique to this).
When I was using, I was a bit more a wise guy than I am right now. I felt my life was manageable. I was just really angry all the time. So, with the help of a therapist, I looked at my life. I mean really looked at it. I still had a job, barely. I still had my relationship, barely. I still had my health, barely. What I didn’t have was any assemblance to of a whole life. I worked, I drank, I slept, and I ate when I could afford it. I had, without realizing it, taken my life and whittled it down to a manageable size.
My ‘life,’ the full one I’d had years before, was too big to manage so I eliminated whatever I could. I came to realize that if I kept going I’d lose the job, the partner, and my health. It was just a matter of time. This was about me. This was about my using.
This was about saving my life, which I still thought was worth something. So, I guess I saw my life had become unmanageable and it was because of the drugs and alcohol.
I don’t believe it actually matters how you figure it out. So, it this works for you, great!
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