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Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful

So I “graduated” from my second alcohol and drug addiction treatment center. I packed all I could into my Ford Bronco and began the journey to Florida. I thought a road trip would be a lot of fun, I’d be able to clear my head and find a new life there. I sat down, laid out a route, and as habit would have it, my addiction kicked in and I stopped at a drug contacts to buy an eight-ball for the road.

When I look back on that I shake my head. On the night of the ‘coin-out,’ I made a great speech at the dinner, promising to head to sober living and touted all that I’d do to stay sober. But then there I was making calls to score drugs. It still baffles me. I mean I know it is my addiction, but it still baffles me. What in the world was I thinking? it was either I just couldn’t get it or maybe I wasn’t ready for it.

I rationalized that I would just use one last time and enjoy it. I’d get three days travel time, so it would be out of my system by the time I reached the sober living in Florida. It seemed like such a great plan. No surprise that I hadn’t even crossed the state line before I found myself in a hotel too high to go anywhere. By the next morning I was out of drugs and got back on the road all I could think about was how was I going to get more in the next town.

On a side note: I’ve never written my story out like I am here in this blog and I can’t help but see just how sick I was and still wonder what the heck I was thinking or missing at the time. I can’t quite seem to figure it out… like I hear in meetings so often this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful!

For more, please go to: Twisting and Turning.