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The Importance of AA Sponsorship

What is an AA Sponsor?

An AA sponsor is someone who has been clean and sober for a long period of time, which typically means they are prepared to support someone who is new to sobriety, or someone else who struggles with it. An integral component of Alcoholics Anonymous is sponsorship, as it helps develop a social support network for both the sponsor and the sponsee. Living up to social responsibilities, i.e.: helping others is important for long term sobriety.

Some Sponsorship Rules

Choosing an AA Sponsor can be a harrowing experience, but only if you make it that way.

  • If you ask someone and they say no that you might not be a good fit. Don’t be offended in any way. It’s possible the sponsor, the person with clearer vision than you right now sees how the relationship might not work. Trust they are making the right choice. They might even refer or introduce you to someone who would be a better fit!
  • AA prefers your sponsor to be of the same sex, as it is believe that mixed sex sponsor pairs might cause complications, but that a man can typically understand another man’s issues better. It is not forbidden to have a sponsor of the opposite sex, but it is not advised.
  • An AA Sponsor can be an influential person in your life, and a definite crutch to lean on in a time of need. However, you should not always expect them to be there. They do have their own life and might have other urgent, pressing matters that have nothing to do with you. In this case your sponsor might get you in touch with another reliable person if you are facing a crisis or possible relapse,
  • If the sponsor is having a bad time that person should not share that with you, but they should seek out their own personal sponsor. A sponsor is your best bud, someone you can lean on when the going gets tough. It is not a two way street though!

So, How does One Ask for an AA Member to Sponsor?

One of the best ways to find out WHO you’d like to sponsor you is to attend a number of meetings and watch members who share openly. Listen to what they have to say, and if they are living the good sober life. Are they content? Serene? Happy? Do you want what they have? That might a great choice for you.

Remember that there isn’t a rush, but you should work on finding one. Sometimes it might seem right, but ultimately it might not be. That’s okay. No one is perfect, and it might just take a bit more time to find that right sponsor. After all, it’s your life and it’s your sobriety.

It can seem like the hardest thing in the world to ask an AA member to take you on as a sponsor, but once it gets rolling there will be huge rewards.

Recovery Rob BIO

Recovery Rob is a 48-year-old man who has more than twenty years of sobriety, whose drugs of choice at one time were alcohol and drugs, and he has worked in and around the field of addiction for more than 20 years. Having just recently launched his own website,, he hopes to reach out and continue to help others who work through their process of addiction and recovery. Recovery Rob is a professional writer who has published two novels and is currently working on his third. He has been writing and working as Pat Moore Foundation’s premiere blogger and content writer, which helps keeps Pat Moore Foundation’s addiction and recovery blog top-rated.


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