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Coping, Dealing and Getting Your Haircut

There is an old adage…”Sit in the barber chair long enough and you will get your haircut.” How true those words are.

A couple nights later, after I’d convinced myself that I could deal drugs and not do them, two of my roommates and I went to a strip club in a town farther up the coast. Well, before I knew it they were both drunk and although I wasn’t drinking I could not get them to leave the bar before we missed curfew. If we missed curfew, sober or not, we would get kicked out. And since I was bound to get kicked out anyway, I told the my roommates that I might as well have some fun too. We scored some crack and I was off and running again. The drug detox, rehab, and sober living home a distant memory.

It was the beginning of a three week bender that landed me broke and scared. I now owed the dealers some money.

Surprisingly, I still had the support of my girlfriend and she was okay with me coming back home. So, I headed back home with my tail between my legs, but stopped in Dallas to get some drugs. High and using, it was no big shock that I got stuck in Texas for a couple days. Eventually I moved through that and got myself back on the road. I got behind the wheel and just drove and drove for as long as I could. As I got closer to home, I called my drug contact and stopped off to get high again. I couldn’t stop.

I showed up at home high. Both by girlfriend and her young daughter were excited to see me. Unfortunately it was short lived because my girlfriend was on to me. She was angry at my being home that way, and it caused a great deal of confusion for the girl. Although I was uncomfortable, and disappointments in myself were strong, it still wasn’t enough to keep me from doing it over and over again.