sobersam's blog

Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful

So I “graduated" from my second alcohol and drug addiction treatment center. I packed all I could into my Ford Bronco and began the journey to Florida. I thought a road trip would be a lot of fun, I'd be able to clear my head and find a new life there. I sat down, laid out a route, and as habit would have it, my addiction kicked in and I stopped at a drug contacts to buy an eight-ball for the road.

Disappointment isn't Always the End

Again, as I approached the end of my 30 days of this drug and alcohol detox and rehab, I was at a loss. I didn't know what I was going to do with my exit plan, but I knew I'd get some help. My counselor recommended that I go to sober living and thought it would be good for me to get away from everything and suggested a sober living home in Florida. I don't think I was happy about having to do this, and I'd surely have to think about it.

Drug Detox | Why is this Happening to Me?

I’d arrived at the drug detox and alcohol treatment center with my girlfriend. A very beautiful place in the mountains of Colorado. There was a main lodge where the groups, offices and cafeteria were at. There were small cabins where we stayed and often elk would be seen on the grounds around the facility. I was again dazed and confused about my condition and was off the drugs for maybe 24 hours at this point.

Addiction, Moving into High Gear

With my depression deepening and my loneliness taking over, I felt myself compelled to act on these emotions. Finally the day came when I convinced my brother and sister-in-law into letting me take the truck to a meeting. I worked hard to make them believe I was doing well. What they didn't truly know was how much I was suffering.

SoberSam | Not All Change Is Good

I mentioned before that before I went into drug detox and treatment that I had a girlfriend, what I didn’t mention was that my girlfriend had a young daughter. Her daughter grew to care for me and I for her, but I couldn’t or was to ashamed to examine the negative affects my using had on her. It's part of getting honest, and I was struggling with that.

Obsession and The Sobriety Triangle

As like most drug addicts, I underestimated the power of my addiction and the obsession and desire for that first hit and/or drink. It took me a long time and pain to understand that I’m completely powerless over the obsession that takes me back out, making me relapse. I know what works to prevent this but sometimes it is difficult to work though the steps.

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