Within the confines of any relationship, resentment can be the single most devastating feeling and thought that can exist. If resentment is left untreated, snug as a cancer, it will tear apart families, friendships, and work life.
Resentment will eventually affect every relationship you have, and in ways which cannot be predicted. Resentment masks itself pretty well behind a plethora of emotions such as, anger, crossness, bad temper, ill will, sourness, damaged pride, hurt feelings, and animosity. But, what most people are not aware of is that resentment can be kept under wraps for a while; hiding behind graciousness. No one but the person holding the resentment even knows it’s there, and they may not be fully aware that it’s just sitting there waiting under the surface. And then out of what seems to be nowhere, the person holding the resentment ‘snaps’ over something so incredibly minor that it seems from the outside, and even from the inside to be ‘crazy.’
Sounds ‘crazy,’ right? Yes, but regardless of that, it is not unusual for people to foster resentment. When you foster resentment you begin to believe you are getting back at someone as you whip up ideas on how you plan to seek revenge and it somehow gives you the permission to feel sorry for yourself. Stewing in resentment is extremely dangerous for an addict, and the Big Book tells us it is the #1 cause of relapse. Consider this: it’s like taking a big dose of poison and then being angry that other person didn’t get sick or die. When we hold onto the resentment, ie: poison, we are the only ones who get sick.
Tips to Prevent Resentments
- Take back your control and your thoughts,
- Don’t allow resentment to run any part of your life,
- Truly being sober (not just dry) means not hanging on to resentments,
- If you find yourself obsessing with resentment and you’re in alcohol and drug treatment, make sure you speak to a peer or counselor, I
- f you’re not currently in treatment for your chemical dependency, then speak to a healthy friend or family member, therapist, sponsor, or 12-step peer.
Remember to not keep the resentment bottle up inside. Sometimes by simply voicing the resentment makes it go away. Sitting with resentments as secrets will slowly destroy you.
More Anti-Resentment Tips to Follow!