Rehab Treatment | Finding the Other Person - Part 2

When I finally entered the alcohol and drug rehab treatment program it was on an outpatient basis, which means I had to go to group therapy three times a week after work for three months. Treatment was voluntary and I could stop going anytime I wanted. I also made a promise to myself to attend twelve step meetings. Although I used drugs, I felt my main problem was alcohol and I 'identified' in that category, so I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. Of course that doesn't mean that I don't consider myself addicted to drugs as well.

For me it was just about finding a place I would fit. I thought I'd try AA first and then if that was uncomfortable then I'd try something else. It was actually very comfortable because it just made sense for me to be there. For the first time I was not alone. There were others who were very much like me. Their stories were a bit different than mine, but they were me.

The rehab treatment program consisted of ten 'others' plus me, and when I walked in the door, the chairs all in a circle, everyone sitting closer to the door, I had to sit opposite the exit. Everyone looked the same we just meekly smiled at one another, no one really sure what to do. The therapy was supposed to start at 6 pm and as the clock ticked closer I could see people squirming and I wondered where the counselor was. Surely, he or she could not be part of this group - no one was wearing a white jacket, or carrying a clipboard.

As the clock struck 6, the person next to me started speaking, and I nearly jumped out of my chair. My startle created a ripple of laughter and I felt myself flush with embarrassment. I soon realized that it would not be the last time I felt uncomfortable...but the next times no one laughed at me.