Hitting Eighteen: What That's Like

When I hit my 18th anniversary last week, I can honestly say I felt a bit different than I had in the previous years since I'd gone to an alcohol and drug treatment facility. I was the same person, still a bit shy about my anniversary, but I felt a bit more confident in my abilities to stay sober. Yes, I often think about the fact I might pick up one day, but I don't obsess about alcohol and drugs as much -- not nearly as much. I also don't romance it and I don't coddle it because I don't have a lot of wonderful memories. It was not a life I enjoyed, and surely not at the end of it.

But why was I feeling a sense of pride that I'd never really felt before? What's up with that? Is it my dreaded ego trying to force its way to the forefront? No, I don't believe so. I think, and this is just how I think and doesn't reflect anything other than what goes on in my brain, that I am in adulthood for the first time. I hit 18. I'm finally an adult in sobriety.

Although I've been an 'adult' for many years, this second coming of 18 has brought about some interesting responses from friends and family as well. Here is an excerpt from a letter from my dad. He is 30 years sober.

"Son, you are truly a remarkable gift to me. I have watched you grow into your sobriety over the past 18 years, just like you grew into adulthood oh so many years ago. You had as many bumps, scrapes and bruises then as you did this time around!

"Although I was proud of you then, I am even more so today. The choices you made were not on my list of hopes and dreams for you, and you took your own path, found your own way and just look at you now! To that, I am grateful. You've made sober and conscious decisions that have shaped you into the man you are today.

"I never knew how big my heart could swell until I saw and heard you speak today. I especially loved the part that your 'old story' does not define you anymore. That, my son, is truly a blessing!"

The letter goes on for a page and a half and I can tell you, I cried numerous times reading it. I shared what I can here.

When I picked up that lovely medallion with the XVIII on it, I had a feeling of 'Wow, I've done this.' How lucky I am.