As I suspected, my friend is back to shooting up heroin and meth. My heart goes out to him because I know that ‘but for the grace of God, there go I.’ When we exchanged text messages and email last weekend, I knew something was going on with him. There was something he was leaving out, but the good news is that he’s willing to check himself into a drug detox and rehab.
So, one of the great things about blogs is that you get to ‘talk’ about your feelings as well as hopefully give out some useful information. Hopefully I can connect with someone who needs it. To be totally honest, which is what I truly try to be each day, I become disappointed when people relapse. And I know this has to do with me and the essence of who I am, and not about the addict who has relapsed. I am a team builder with a ra-ra attitude. When someone stumbles/relapses, my first instinct is to figure out if I’d said something, or didn’t say something, so that next time they will remain sober.
Yes, silly, I know. I am much better at snipping this emotion off. I don’t ignore it, I acknowledge that it’s there and tell myself that there’s nothing I can do but to just be there. To listen, offer advice if asked, and continue to be a good person – a friend in sobriety. This change didn’t just happen overnight of course. I’ve had to work on this for many years.
Imagine my surprise when I realized the world DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME!
Before we ended our phone call, I asked if there was anything he would do differently this time around. He shared that his drinking is what led him back to using drugs again.
We all come to an understanding one way or the other. A drug is a drug is a drug.